


broken pieces

by aestheticeighties



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, F/M, Fluff, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, PTSD, Rey is a badass, Reylo - Freeform, Smut, i started this before tlj came out, i'm the worst, lots of death, sorry for the emotional destruction, the last Jedi au, this is what would have happened if i had been a star wars writer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-22 23:47:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16607738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aestheticeighties/pseuds/aestheticeighties
Summary: this is an au of how i would have had the last jedi go:) it's hella depressing but i threw in some reylo and kylux and honestly i'm just here to make myself cry. lots of angst, a little smut, and a whole lot of pain at the end.au where kylo betrays the first order and is forced to team up with rey to take down snoke





	broken pieces

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys so i started writing this well over a year ago and realized that i should definitely post it! most of it is already written, i just have to fill in the gaps a little as i go. let me know what you think!

    It had been there as long as he could remember. Sitting there, within him, a vast lake of energy and power that was just out of his reach. He would lie awake at nights, trying desperately to use it, make it do something, but nothing worked. It just slowly ate away at him until one day, it exploded.

    He remembered the deep cracks in the ground, the frightened birds scattering from flattened trees. The energy had found its way out, and it felt  _ so good. _ He remembered the arguments following, his parents fighting when they thought he couldn’t hear.

    “This is your fault, Leia!” his dad would shout.  _ Fault.  _ As if Ben was some broken thing that couldn’t be fixed. That was his name. Ben Solo, child of the Resistance leaders. The arguments only got worse as Ben tried to hold back the  _ thing  _ inside him, leading to violent outbursts that he couldn’t control.

    “We need to send him where he can’t hurt anyone,” his mom said. “He needs to see Luke.”

    “That kook?” his dad snorted.

    “That kook is my  _ brother.”  _ Leia responded.

    So, the day came when his parents shipped him off to a lonely planet, desperate to rid themselves of the burden he had become. It was an ocean world, dotted only with rocky islands and jagged cliffs. The only other human there was his uncle, Luke, a Jedi who was to teach him to control himself.

    When he first got there, Luke told him to release the energy, let it all run free, and Ben did. Sometimes, he could still hear the sound of the crack that echoed through the air, and the rocks on the cliff falling into the sea like the calving of a massive glacier. A shudder had raced through the earth, and Luke’s face had gone pale.

    As the years passed, Luke never taught him how to control it. His lessons were filled with  _ repress, repress, repress. _ It was torture, and resentment grew in Ben like a cancer, consuming him steadily as the depths of his power grew.

    He wasn’t Ben Solo anymore. He was nameless. A ghost, swallowed whole by the thing that his family couldn’t accept.

    One night, as he sat under the stars, fighting back the urge to rip the island to shreds, a figure appeared next to him. He jumped, stumbling backwards, but the robed being raised its hands.

_ Peace, young one.  _ The figure’s voice came from within his head, and he froze. 

   “How can you do that?” he asked.

_ Just as you do anything. The same way you can break apart cliffs with only a thought. The same way I could feel your power from a galaxy away. _

    “You can do it too?” he whispered.

_ Of course I can. You have been gifted with immense power, something only I can teach you to use. Come with me, and I will show you the Dark side of the Force. _

    “Dark side?”

_ It is a name that doesn’t even scratch the surface. I will teach you how to bend time to your will, to conquer death, to steal the breath from a person’s lungs. You will be a ruler of the galaxy. Never again will you have to cower and hide who you really are. Come with me. Come with me and show your family that they were wrong to be ashamed. _

    His eyes were fixated on the figure’s black glove, extended towards him. He took a step forward, feeling the stranger’s words resonate deep in his chest. “Yes.” he breathed. “ _ Yes. _ ”

    He never looked back.

_____________________________

 

__ The ground still roiled underneath Kylo, the planet tearing itself to shreds from the inside out. However, the agony flooding his body drowned everything out. His shoulder, hip, stomach, and face all screamed in pain, every movement sending bolts of red-hot lightning shooting through his gut. Kylo closed his eyes, knowing this was the end. The end of him, the end of everything he had worked for. All he could do was hold his saber to his chest and wait for the ground to consume him.

    “ _ Ren!”  _ A faint voice, barely rising above the roaring of the destruction. Kylo opened his eyes, the snowy forest blurred and spinning in circles. Someone was leaning over him, rolling him onto his side. Kylo caught a flash of red hair before the person dragged him to his feet. “Damn it, Ren,” the person grumbled in his ear. “Why’d you have to be so tall?”

    Kylo couldn’t respond, only let himself be dragged along by the man at his side. Somehow, they were in a ship, and the man laid him down on the metal floor. “How long will it take?” the man barked.

    “A few hours, at the least,” an unfamiliar voice responded. “The nearest freighter is in the next system, but we’ll have to delay hyperdrive until we clear the debris field.”

    “ _ Damn it! _ ” the man cursed again. “He’ll be dead by the time we get there.”

    Dead? Yes, Kylo would surely die before long. His fuzzy vision had started giving way to blackness, and his entire body had gone numb. If this was dying, it really wasn’t too bad.

    Suddenly, the wound at his hip was tearing, screaming in agony. Kylo groaned, vision coming back to focus on General Hux, digging his hand into Kylo’s hip. “What the  _ hell _ ?” Kylo coughed, sight starting to fade back to darkness.

    “You’re not dying on me.” Hux hissed. “Stay awake.”

    Kylo groaned, coughing again. Blood bubbled between his lips, its coppery taste coating his mouth. “I killed him,” he whispered, relishing the blackness that came to claim him.

_ I killed him. _

_____________________________

 

    Ben is three. He knows his father’s arms better than anything, and never wants to be put down. He knows he is safe with his father. His father has always put up with him, but there is something different today. Something in the spaceship is smoking, and his father needs to fix it. There is a tall man there. Ben doesn’t know if he is a human, he is very hairy. His father holds him out to the tall man.

    “Don’t let anything happen to him, okay?”

    And he doesn’t. This man’s arms are just as safe as his father’s.

_____________________________

 

    Kylo awoke in a sterile white room, dressed in mandatory hospital clothes. He had a faint feeling of sadness, from some fevered dream that he couldn’t quite shake. Slowly, he sat up, leg screaming in pain. Compression bandages encircled his hip, from the blaster wound inflicted by the Wookie. Not Wookie...Chewie. Chewie, who could have killed him today. The light blankets fell to his hips, and he touched his shoulder gingerly, feeling the scar that now blossomed across his chest. Kylo sighed, swinging his feet onto the cold tile floor.

    Just then, the door was flung open and a young nurse burst in. “Don’t stand up!” she ordered him. Kylo froze, and her face paled. “I’m sorry, you’ll re-injure your leg if you walk too soon. We’ll need to fit you with a brace, get you started with some exercises so you can get back on your feet.”

    “And what, exactly, am I supposed to do until then?” Kylo was gripping the side of the bed, voice cold and distant.

    The nurse swallowed nervously. “You’ll have to stay here under supervision until you can walk again. General Hux will be stopping by soon. He told me to let him know when you woke up.”

    She started out the door but Kylo stopped her. “How long have I been out?” he asked quietly.

    “Almost a week.” She smiled softly. “Lay down and let yourself heal.”

    And with that, she left, locking Kylo into the dismally empty room, with only his thoughts to keep him company.

_____________________________

__ Dagobah was an awful planet. It was all swamps and marshes, filled with sinister rustling from all sides. Rey wanted nothing more than to fly to Ach-to to find Luke, but she and Chewie had been grounded, the Falcon sustaining critical damage while they fled from Starkiller Base. Rey couldn’t bring herself to feel triumphant over the Rebellion’s victory.

    Han Solo was dead. She refused to accept it, refused to believe that he was truly gone. But Rey saw his final moments every night in her dreams. She saw the blazing red lightsaber pierce his chest, saw him reach out for Kylo’s face before plummeting into the abyss.

    Kylo. Han’s son.

    Rey knew that Kylo was still alive, she could feel his presence in her mind. It sounded strange, but ever since he had captured her on Starkiller Base, it was like she could sense his emotions. Sometimes, Rey would be working on repairing the ship, and she would feel a flash of blinding rage that wasn’t quite  _ hers. _ It was disorienting, something she could never explain, but it was slowly growing to become a part of her. 

    Chewie’s guttural roar shook Rey from her thoughts. She emerged from their small bungalow to find him shaking a wrench in the air, smoke spewing from the Falcon into the humid air.

    “What did you  _ do _ ?” Rey asked, exasperated. Chewie just groaned again, and she sighed. “Yes, I can try to fix it. Get some rest.”

_____________________________

 

    The door slowly opened again, but Kylo didn’t move. He was lying on the bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling and trying to will his hip to heal.

    “Trying to set the ceiling on fire won’t fix anything.” It was Hux.

    “Who says I want to fix anything?” Kylo responded. “Maybe it should all burn down.”

    “You certainly proved that mindset at Starkiller Base.” Hux replied curtly. “How is your hip?” Kylo glared at him. “That good?”

    “If you call not being able to stand up good, then I’m doing fantastic,” Kylo spit out.

    “They’ll get you in a brace, you’ll be walking in no time.” Hux’s promises were empty, Kylo knew they were lies. There was a pause, then: “The Wookie.”

    “What about him?”

    “He could have killed you,” Hux pointed out. “It’s lucky you’re still alive.”

    “It’s not luck.” Kylo closed his eyes, fragments of his dream returning to haunt him.

    “Then what is it?”

_ Don’t let anything happen to him, okay? _

__ “A promise.”

_____________________________


End file.
